I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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