he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
