why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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