awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And then my night got REAL pukey
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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