me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He is an equal opportunity slut.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
