in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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