So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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