I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
