had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
