oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
either way he was missing a nipple.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
