saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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