she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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