You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
