im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
