god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
