What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
