you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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