I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
