we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
