Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
