when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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