I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
