is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
