so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
