Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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