In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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