I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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