Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
