it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
