I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
