Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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