I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
