Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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