I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wish i was in the wii world.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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