yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
