I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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