There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
