i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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