just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
