i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
