i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
