shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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