I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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