Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
