dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
