I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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