MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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