so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
