It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Randomize
