hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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