Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
