there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
