Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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