i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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