ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
