whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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