Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
