I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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