"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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