i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
