My nipple is on Facebook.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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