I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
